We’ve all done this: we see a person type something egregiously racist/misogynist/ableist, but they use “there” instead of “their” in the middle of their rant. Perhaps instead a homonym swap, they use a completely different word, or simply grossly misspell a word. Then we pounce. There is no talking to them, because they can’t even handle middle school English, and therefore, their point is moot. I once had a whole bit about a time a guy named John, warned me of the gay “addenda” and how it will destroy society. He typed “addenda” at least three times in his screed. I could not stop thinking of rainbow-clad burglars sneaking into city clerks and law offices in the dead of night, slipping in extra pages to erstwhile notarized legally binding contracts. I excoriated John for his error and laughed about the burglar scenario for days.
The problem with this is that I was somewhat in the wrong. John was DEFINITELY in the wrong for perpetuating the lie of a surreptitious queer agenda to raze civilization. I knew he meant gay “agenda,” though. Instead of breaking down all the points wrong with the ridiculous conspiracy theory, I focused on John’s misuse of a word. That is grammar shaming, and it is disingenuous to use that as a determinant of who is right or wrong in an argument. Grammar shaming is a classist non-sequitur, and as fun as it may be to point out an opponent’s misspellings, it does nothing to come to consensus or at least address an opposing viewpoint.
Though poor growing up, my mother emphasized learning and reading and understanding English to the best of my ability. Even when I took a liking to art and mathematics, English was imperative. I hated every second of my English assignments and rarely did my homework, but I aced nearly every test put before me. Verbal and written communication was not a problem for me. I developed a privilege from this, as many students around me gave up, and they may not have had someone hounding them to do better at home. Even in college, a lot of my fellow Engineering scholars let English and grammar fall by the wayside. This happens all the time. Even in the industry, engineers are not known for their ability to communicate their thoughts thoroughly. It makes for a lot of deciphering of cryptic notes from years past and often animosity among peers over minuscule miswording. The plight of the awkward engineer is likely one of the only stereotypes based in a widespread fact. Still, it is only a stereotype.
Regardless, so long as I can understand the point someone is trying to get across to me, then there is no need to nitpick their grammar or spelling. Even if what they say is the antithesis of my opinion. I should be focusing on that, not that they wrote “pls” instead of “please.” The lowest hanging fruit is not always the ripest. Also, I make spelling and grammar mistakes all the time. I should not be judging someone for what I do myself, especially in the online world where speech-to-text and autocorrect can make fools of us all.
Grammar shaming is also wielding my education over someone, which is why I think the practice is classist, and sometimes xenophobic. Education is great, but some may not have had access to it, even at a high school level. Some people may still be learning the language. Dunking on someone for spelling mistakes in that way negates my modicum of decency. Learning another language as an adult is difficult. It was hard enough to learn English as a child. Furthermore, any time a case of police abuse is in the news, people focus on how the victim spoke instead of how the aggressors treated them, and how they spoke somehow made them deserving of the harm that came to them. For that reason, it is hypocritical for me to use the same metric in communication. It smacks of respectability politics, which is just another way to excuse the mistreatment of disenfranchised people.
The only exception I would take is people’s given names. It is easy enough to look at a person’s name, especially when it is written down, and spell their name correctly. Not doing that is flat-out disrespectful. Beyond that, I am trying my best to not fall into the trap of dismissing someone based on their misuse of English. It shows lack of care for what they said, and a penchant for simply wanting to one-up them. In the long run, it is much more satisfying to listen to what they say and peruse their points. Sometimes, the outcome is concordance.
…This of course doesn’t apply to neo-nazis. There is no agreeing with them.
About Chris Thompson
(he/his/him) Chris Thompson is an engineer, writer, comedian, and activist who made Rochester, New York his home in 2008. In addition to his role as Contributor for 540Blog he currently writes and regularly posts on his own on Instagram and Twitter at @ChronsOfNon. Chris is also a regular contributor for Rochester City Newspaper. His blog is www.chroniclesofnonesense.com.
