Navigating Blackness in Predominantly White Spaces
Navigating Blackness in Predominantly Whites Spaces Is Why Black People Are Fatigued
Member Exclusive Blog Post by Executive Director, Calvin Eaton
Feb 28, 2021
A few days ago I started reading the book Black Fatigue: How Racism Erodes the Mind, Body and Spirit by Mary Francis Winters. Starting this new book coincides with my second year of being an adjunct professor at St. John Fisher College an independent institution in the Catholic tradition of American higher education and a predominately white institution (PWI). As I delve deeper into the book I cannot help but think meta-cognitively about how deeply connected Black people are as it relates to the effects of systemic racism, institutional racism, and bias even when we have never met. Because of racism and its effects, Black people share sociocultural experiences and feelings that bond us.
Today, so many of our spaces—professional and otherwise—are dominated by white people in large part due to the enduring legacy of Jim Crow segregation, Black codes and racist housing policies that were intentionally designed to segregate our communities by race. The policies were condoned by every level of our government as well as institutions of higher learning that for decades forbade the admittance of Black students and faculty. In fact, the institution of slavery helped build many colleges and universities just like enslaved people built the physical and economic foundation of the U.S. This legacy is pervasive, endemic, and enduring even in 2021. Fisher like many of the private colleges and universities here in Western New York is no stranger to lacking in their faculty and student diversity. Even though many strides have been made in this area, St. John Fisher remains a campus that is predominately white and this is not lost on me as a new adjunct professor in the honors program and the department of African American studies.
Recently I was sharing some experiences about how my first week of class went via text with a friend. As I was texting one anecdote stood out for me; one of the faculty colleagues allowed me to continue using her office since we teach on alternate days. On the second day of my class I was attempting to open her office with my key, hands full, and for some reason the key would go into the lock but the door would not open. I tried a few times and each attempt made me more and more anxious as I kept one eye on my surroundings making sure I was not looking like someone who didn’t belong, or was perhaps breaking and entering. It wasn’t lost on me that the office was in fact not mine. I remember making sure my badge was facing forward, and after a few attempts I became so flustered and self-conscious that I just let it go. I remember thinking ” What if someone calls security” and this becomes a serious ordeal.
“What if someone calls security and this becomes a serious ordeal.”
Sharing all of this with my friend, who is a white woman, made me think more deeply about all the conscious and unconscious ways that I am always thinking about how I look, my demeanor, my voice, and how I walk every single time I set foot on the Fisher campus. These fears may seem irrational on the surface but as a Black man that is fat, I am always keenly aware about how I show up in spaces, especially spaces dominated by white people. A fear of being policed, being profiled, having the police called on me is always there and even though nothing like this has happened to me at Fisher, the threat of it happening is always there just under the surface. A deeper dive will tell you that my fears are not irrational at all. There has been no shortage of recent news stories (here and here) detailing Black faculty and students being racially profiled on college campuses and having their existence questioned by white people for no other reason than they were Black. The U.S has an enduring legacy of white people feeling compelled to police the bodies and existence of Black people.
These internal thoughts and dialogues ebb and flow, magnify and contract based on the space I am in. But the process is always happening even when I am not actively thinking about it. All of this conscious and unconscious background thought/noise is draining. It is exhausting to always need to think about how I am. How I need to navigate and display my Black-self in a space. This is one aspect of the Black fatigue that Mary details in her book.
It is a privilege to show up to a space and not have to worry about any social or physical real or perceived threats to your safety and security.
Not thinking about how you show up in a space is a priceless
It is a privilege to not worry about how you look in a space
Not thinking about how you walk in a space is a privilege
Not thinking about how you talk in a space is a privilege
Being able to navigate a poorly plowed or (unplowed) city sidewalk or campus and it simply being an inconvenience and not a prevention of you getting down the street is a privilege
In a world that is designed to accommodate and prioritize those that are most able-bodied, thin, cisgender, male and white at the expense of the rest of us is fatiguing. Racism is unfortunately inescapable. This is fatiguing and one reason why racism continues to be a public health crisis. Racism is literally killing Black people and non-white/non-white passing people of color. Because I show up in this world as a Black man 24/7 I sometimes forget myself why on some days I am more tired than other days. Navigating my Blackness in white spaces adds to my stress and fatigue and it is important that I remind myself of this truth.
Sources
- Black people are tired of trying to explain racism | Washington Post
- ‘Not being fully free’: The toll of everyday racism on black Americans | NBCNews
- This Is What Black Burnout Feel Like | Buzzfeed News
- Let’s Not Forget Weathering Is Also Killing Black People | Self
- Shackled Legacy: History shows slavery helped build many U.S. colleges and universities
About Calvin Eaton
(he/his/him) Calvin Eaton is a disabled community educator, content creator, and social entrepreneur, whose area of expertise includes antiracism, equity, justice, eLearning design, and program development. In 2016 Mr. Eaton founded 540WMain, Inc. a virtual non-profit organization and antiracist education brand that promotes justice for all.